I lost my nerve

As you may or may not have noticed, I’ve stopped writing. I’ve been writing quite diligently on this blog for more than half a year and I kept it completely secret. My friends knew vaguely that I was doing it but I didn’t share a thing. I didn’t because I wanted this to be for me. I wanted to write what I wanted to write and be completely free without worrying about perfect spelling, typos, grammar and even content.

A while back I got restless and I wanted to change things. I shared the link with my friends, posted it on Instagram, started looking for ways to expand and had a blog posted on a different website which was also shared on Facebook. These aren’t big steps but I found myself in the weird position of feeling self-conscious about everything on here. Now, it’s not exactly my favourite trait but I tend to avoid instead of fight so as soon as I hesitated I went into full avoidance mode. I had good excuses for myself because I was actually quite busy as well but the truth is that I just lost my nerve.

I lost my nerve because I was putting everything out there and not only does that mean that it could be judged but most of all it could all just end up a waste of time. I don’t mind anymore, though. I never wrote because I wanted to do anything with it and I’m going back to that mindset. I enjoy writing and I like talking to myself. In the end I think that’s enough. At least for now.

Welcome back!