What religion means to me

I always feel a bit apologetic when I talk about my religion. I know that most people don’t like even thinking about it as it is tainted by so many associations of forced visits to church, rituals, commandment etc. I don’t blame people for that. I do not feel apologetic because I think people will judge me but because I subconsciously also adhere to those stereotypes and associations and I want to make clear from the start that I’m not like that.

This is why I explain that the church I, hardly, go to is not in an actual church building, and that they don’t sing psalms accompanied by a choir. I find it vital that people know that we are more modern than that, that there’s a band and fun songs and special services for younger church-goers. It’s crazy really, how I emphasise all that when it really isn’t important at all.

A couple of weeks ago I found out about an English spoken church here in Nice and I was curious so I went. The experience was very different from what I’m used to. The entire service was scripted to the dot, the building cold and the rituals felt alien to me. In other words, I was a bit uncomfortable.

However, after a while I started seeing more and more that the message wasn’t all that different from what is preached in my church and that’s in the end what matters most. Sure, the approach is distinctly different. I actually found myself realising that maybe I should be, like them, a bit more respectful to God than I often am.

Aside from that it got me thinking about what actually matters which is why I’m writing this now; to put to words what religion means to me. The thing about religion is that it is often seen as restraining whereas I personally experience the complete opposite. For me, it’s freedom. Because of my religion I’m able to go wherever I want to go and do whatever I want to do without being afraid. That’s the main thing: I don’t have to be afraid.

I think what most people get wrong is the idea of rules and limitations. About that all I can say is that for me there’s only a few specific rules that I struggle with and most of those are things that I know are ultimately better for me. Mostly though the so called rules concern being a good person and I don’t see that as a rule, more as a challenge to be better and to design your life in a more meaningful way. It is something that, in its essence, I think a lot of people can relate to. I know so many good people who aren’t Christians but who do follow the same values of kindness, honesty and what not.

What this means is that I’m not constantly thinking of the consequences of doing things wrong. Instead I am just doing my best with the knowledge that, no matter what, I will be fine. Like I said, it gives me freedom. I allows me to go to a completely foreign country, all on my own and still not be on my own. It means that I don’t need to feel any pressure by what others are doing because I know that I’m never going to be alone.

I know that there’s a lot of non-Christian people who don’t feel pressured at all or lonely when traveling, but this is from my perspective. Where I normally might not do something because I’d be too scared for people to judge me or tell me off, I can now feel free to do exactly what I think is right. And that’s what that means to me. It’s not about force or restriction, it is about unconditional love and the way that empowers and incentivises me to be the best version of myself I can possibly become.